Diseased Faith

The first step in curing a disease is to sought a qualified physician. Thereafter the doctor most
probably would prescribe medication that of course you obtain immediately. After all you
believe in the doctor and his recommendation! Your first priority is to obey in order to get
better.

Now let us look at your faith. Who is the doctor of your faith? God of course. Therefore, when
your faith becomes sick or deceased, what is the procedure? The same as above of course. The
questions may arise in your mind………what is a diseased faith? What are the symptoms of a
diseased faith?

A diseased faith is one that refuses to trust God completely with no doubts. A person with a
diseased faith does things only when suitable to him. A person who has a well faith does not
waver depending on the circumstances. On the contrary they stand firm regardless of the
conditions.

A diseased faith is an ineffective weapon against the devil. Some of the symptoms of a sick faith
are doubt, fear, anguish, worry, anxiety, cynicism, spitefulness etc.
Fortunately, some of us consistently visit our “doctor” for “regular check-ups” through
exercising our faith and obedience to His (our doctor’s) words.

It would be quite pertinent to ask yourself now ……………Do I need a complete check
up?

Forgiveness

I can never forgive him………….

For some reason our society today often views forgiveness with the utmost disdain. The person who forgives is regarded as spineless and weak.

However, ask yourself why keep something that is so harmful to your well- being in your heart? Why hold on to a memory that is obviously self- destructive? What do you have to gain?

Forgiveness does not mean that you become friends with the person. It simply denotes cleaning your heart and keeping your thoughts towards that person neutral.

Unforgiveness, hatred and grudges all belong in the same destructive category. These bad feelings gnaw at your insides and slowly destroy your life. The object of your hatred most times isn’t in the least bit affected by this. Instead you are literally hurting your own self.

Unlike what society teaches us forgiveness is actually being the “bigger” person. Forgiveness demands you being mature enough to look past this person’s transgressions against you. Forgiveness is born out of the desire to live. Live? Yes to live.

Forgiveness is a decision you take to keep your body and mind healthy, mentally and physically. Contrary to popular belief moving past someone’s negative attitude toward you, builds your character. It builds your strength and intelligence.

” For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14

Enough said……………………the decision lies with you !

Real Men!

Every man is a work in progress. In a society flooded with information on what is a good man, there are of course particular traits that are synonymous with the ideal man. As men it is imperative that we continuously develop ourselves in this consistently changing society that we live in.
There are of course particular traits that are most definitely synonymous with being a productive, disciplined man.

Maturity – A mature man has goals and aspirations and knows where he wants go in life. He does not cower from commitment and is not insecure. Mature men display bravery when problem solving and are not afraid to go the extra mile.

Learning – A good man always seeks to develop himself by consistently updating himself and learning new things. New lessons and developments are always available and a real man takes advantage of this!

Adaptable – A man has the ability to be adaptable in any situation. Even if he fails at an attempted task he has the positivity and staying power to keep trying! After all, even Jesus adapted to being just a normal man as opposed to being the son of God!

Character – This is a prerequisite to keeping one’s spouse happy. Good manners, care and consideration are all part of an excellent character. If a man lacks honesty and sincerity, then it is hardly likely that he can survive in a relationship. Beware!
Team Player – As men we must understand that the team’s success is also our success. Since marriage and relationships are basically team efforts it is imperative that more care is placed on the team winning than on YOU winning!

Intelligence – Often times this trait is underrated because we assume that everyone can exercise intelligence. Wrong!!!!!! Smart men think carefully of the consequences before acting or speaking. This quality often gives us men the strength to stand firm and not make whimsical, spur of the moment decisions that often carry life long sentences!

God Fearing – It goes without saying that when a man fears God, he will never betray his wife. The knowledge that God is present and knows and sees all is enough.

Good men know and understand that “iron sharpens iron, as man sharpens man!”

 

What Makes People Change?

It is very frustrating when you are in a relationship and your partner does something that hurts you — the husband drinks too much; the wife is cold and distant; the son insists on living irresponsibly.

What do we do in light of these situations? Normally we do what does not work: we try to change the other person. We argue, fight, criticise, complain, and try to make ourselves the victim to see if the person feels the least bit sorry…

Basically we try everything we can, just to make the person change.

The problem is that this makes the other person even more obstinate, because all our attempts are received as an attempt to try and control them. It is as though we are saying, “You have to change because I want you to be this way and not that way.” It sounds selfish, even if we sincerely want the best for that person.
The truth is that we can’t change anyone. People only change when they want to change. Yes, they can be influenced to change, but they only change because they decide to change.

So the question is:
What brings a person to decide to change?

TWO BASIC STEPS:

1) The right amount of pain to say, “Enough!” Pain is mankind’s greatest motivator.

That’s why we shouldn’t save our family from the consequences of their behaviour.

Of course, it’s embarrassing to see your son spend the night in jail, but if he was caught for drink-driving or without a license, perhaps that’s the embarrassment he needs to go through to change.

The key word is “consequence”. People have to face the consequences of their actions, even if they are painful, so that they can wake up and change.

2) When they discover something better than what they currently practise. We are not saying that an addict, for example, doesn’t know any better than his addiction. What they don’t know is a better way to deal with what leads them to be addicted. One way to promote understanding is for them to know the story of someone who had the same problem and overcame. This type of information will interest them because every human being identifies with a person who went through the same ordeal.

That is why success stories are so captivating and inspiring. In order to help people change, our job should be to facilitate their access to information, which shows them the positive alternative to the current habits they practise today.

“How can I help?”

Watching our family members swim through the sea of addiction is always a heart wrenching experience. The addicted person as well as the family members may manipulate and bend reality in an attempt to maintain a semblance of normalcy. Living with addiction can put family members under unusual amounts of stress. Things generally take a downward spiral.

How can we help our loved ones who are so out of control? What can we do to curb their pain and suffering? Is there really a solution to these endless problems?

We need to understand that our family’s addiction does not imply he has a flawed character or even has behavioral issues. However, we need to understand there is a spirit that dominates the person’s mind. With this simple piece of knowledge, we can now understand the battle is spiritual. Persistence and perseverance by family members is essential in freeing your family.

As persons who are trying to free our family we should never be influenced by an addicts’ words, such as “I don’t want help”, “I can stop whenever I want to” etc. These words however convincing they may sound are the spirit of the addiction talking. Instead wait for the right moment to convince him to come to treatment. When he begins to realize what he has lost and how much pain he has caused he is usually more cooperative.

Unlike what most families do, the addict should not be scorned or alienated. Avoid accusing or condemning him for addiction. This causes a permanent barrier between the addict and their family. When you treat them differently it only pushes them further away.

Waiting for the addict to ask for help is of no use. Most of the time he will say he doesn’t want help or denies being an addict, which in truth and in fact leaves the family powerless, since every treatment requires him to be present.

Never should we conform to the idea that there is no way an addict could ever be free. This is not true! What the family should do is come to the treatment, believe, persevere and obey.

“My partner does not listen to me…”

In our fast paced environment today everyone wants to be right! The truth is however no one can always be right. The important thing is to truly make an effort to understand your partner’s point of view. Would you like a dictator- someone to charter your every move without even asking your opinion? Of course not!

Talking is often not enough. Listening is imperative in the communication process – after all it is the first step to communication. In T&T we have an old adage, “Two ears, one mouth….listen more, speak less.”

When it comes to relationships in our island between couples, we have seen a lot of cases where each person is waiting to receive first. Why? Well we always tend to focus on what our partner is doing and not on ourselves. It is always easier to notice someone else’s flaws than our own.

To be heard is one of the most basic needs of a human being. In fact a lot of the times infidelity occurs in a relationship it is because your partner has found someone to listen (or appear that way) to them!

Try being more attentive and perceptive to your partner’s views and opinions, even if you do not necessarily agree. This will promote a happier, more balanced relationship that is mutually beneficial to both partners.

There are plenty more beneficial lessons to learn on building and maintaining your relationship. Join the Love Therapy session every Thursday at 5pm for more.

Transitions…

It’s as if my daughter has turned into a self- obsessed celebrity model,” my friend wailed about her daughter. I calmly asked her to remember what she was like at fourteen. Immediately she grimaces and laughs aloud, almost simultaneously.

Instead of being detached from our daughters why not share our experiences with them? Why not close the gap between us and them by holding their hands into womanhood?

Having a daughter is an unspeakable joy to a mother…. at first. Their girlishness and apparent love for pretty things endear them to us instantly. We see in them innocent, cute beings that are dependent on us for their everything.

Then, the unavoidable steps in…. they want to grow up and fly away from the safe haven that you so patiently and lovingly created for them. It’s the dilemma faced by most mothers with a daughter.

Youth cannot stand tediousness and the dullness of the same thing over and over. Even a few days of routine seems unbearable to them. Life assumes a soberer look and even a mother’s love cannot stay the hands of time!
The crave for independence is a natural process for anything that grows. Even animals grow up and away from their parents, creating their own homes and family.

After painstakingly grooming our daughters we should indeed be proud of them when they attempt to be independent. Instead of seeing it as an attempt to rebel, why not recognize that we were once at this point?

We are in a position to school our daughters on the principles of femininity. Let us embrace this opportunity in a positive way. Our daughters are soon to become the pillars upon which society is founded.

Break That Chain!

There are individuals who face problems that are so intricate that it causes them to become nervous and apprehensive. This causes them to search for alternative ways of dealing with that problem when they see no other way out.

What many addicts fail to realize is that this method is only a temporary “fix.” Of course this fix most often leads to the beginning of the road to addiction.

There are addictions that have persons hooked so deeply that they cannot see the problem with it. It slowly has become part of their life. If an individual does not believe that substance abuse is a problem for them they will be unlikely to change their behavior. Even if the destruction caused by the addiction is obvious to everyone else, it may not be so obvious to the addict.

The addict is a master at finding justifications for why their life is in such a mess. He has excuses such as:
However, there are those who are aware that they are slowly self-destructing, but do not know how to get out or even ask for help. Addictions are thieves. They steal your time, joy and relationships, often leaving you penniless, lower than you were before indulging in them, and they isolate you from the people around you.

Talking to those who have already achieved sobriety can help an addict see beyond their denial. Ex-addicts will understand the mentality of an addict in denial and so will have a better understanding of what to say.

Join us at our ACT (Addiction Cleansing Therapy)  meetings to talk to persons who have been through your experiences. We are here to help you!

Obedience!

The Campaign of Israel only occurs twice per year and is the greatest Campaign of Faith. Its purpose is to conquer the promises of God, by placing one’s all on the altar.

Many people ask “What is my all?”

Your all means obedience and self denial. This is where most people fail. The Bible says in 1Samuel 15:22 “…..obedience is better than sacrifice.” For most persons complete obedience to anything is hard.

God demands complete obedience from his people. Abraham was completely obedient to God in any circumstance.

Imagine being asked to sacrifice your child…….in fact your only child, because Abraham had only Isaac with his wife. Would you be able to deny yourself and obey?

Abraham didn’t question God. “By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises offered up his only begotten son… He reasoned that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead” (Hebrews 11:17-19).

This was the faith of Abraham. He obeyed unconditionally. Abraham knew that God was great so he denied himself as a parent and was prepared to sacrifice Isaac.

Today in order to see the promises of God fulfilled in our lives we need to have that Abrahamic faith.

As we experience hardships and difficult periods in our lives, let us not give up. Instead exercise that Abrahamic faith and obey God’s commands in the same way Abraham did.

Sacrifice our desires for the will of God as Abraham did. There is no doubt that we will be as blessed as he was.

Those who participate in this campaign will transmit all their trust to the altar of God.

Isaac

It is inconceivable what Abraham felt while approaching the mountain to give his only son, Isaac as a sacrifice.

We have already seen that Abraham demonstrated utmost faith in God. But after one hundred years of waiting for a son with his wife Sarah (Genesis 21:5), God was asking Abraham to sacrifice the biggest desire of his heart – his son.

On one hand Abraham was confident in his faith and in God’s promises, but as a parent his heart was probably torn to shreds.

Which would he obey …….his parental instincts or his father’s command?

Of course we know that Abraham obeyed his father’s command. His obedience greatly pleased God. In fact it was the reason he was given the oath.

By Myself I have sworn, says the Lord, because you have done this thing, and have not withheld your son, your only son blessing I will bless youGenesis 22:16-17

What about you? Would you have obeyed and given your Isaac? Would you have sacrificed your biggest dream as Abraham did?

Seeing that Abraham was obedient and self sacrificial he passed God’s test and the fire of God’s faith burned within him. He was overflowing with joy.

If you want to secure God’s promises………this Campaign is for you!!!!!!!